OUAT karaoke
by Lieutenant Thalia
Summary: Karaoke night. Ruby and Belle get emotional. Regina sings, and Emma must choose. The father of her child or the pirate? Sorry for crappy and clichéd writing. I own nowt. T 4 swearing
1. Dark Side

"Welcome to karaoke night!" Granny Lucas exclaimed. "Okay, first up is my beautiful granddaughter Red!"

Red, wide eyed, released her girlfriend's hand and cautiously stepped up to the stage and took the microphone. "Hi, everyone. I didn't actually know I was singing tonight," she says with a pointed look at her grandmother, who just shrugs innocently.

"Well, as I have been mysteriously volunteered and someone has to start this off... This goes out to Belle, love you, babe. Here's Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson."

_There's a place that I know_  
_It's not pretty there and few have ever __gone_  
_If I show it to you now_  
_Will it make you run away_

The place is entranced. Her singing is beautiful.

_Or will you __stay_  
_Even if it hurts_  
_Even if I try to push you out_  
_Will you __return?_  
_And remind me who I really am_  
_Please remind me who I really __am_

Belle is welling up.

_Everybody's got a dark side_  
_Do you love me?_  
_Can you love __mine?_  
_Nobody's a picture perfect_  
_But we're worth it_  
_You know that we're __worth it_  
_Will you love me?_  
_Even with my dark side?_

Ruby is really getting into it. When she hits the chorus, she thrusts her fist into the air.

_Like a __diamond_  
_From black dust_  
_It's hard to know_  
_What can become_  
_If you __give up_  
_So don't give up on me_  
_Please remind me who I really __am_

The song is getting to Ruby and Belle. Belle has a single tear rolling down her cheek, and Ruby is on her knees, singing her heart out.

_Everybody's got a dark side_  
_Do you love me?_  
_Can you love __mine?_  
_Nobody's a picture perfect_  
_But we're worth it_  
_You know that we're __worth it_  
_Will you love me?_  
_Even with my dark side?_

Belle walks towards the stage. She doesn't even realise she's doing it.

_Don't run __away_  
_Don't run away_  
_Just tell me that you will stay_  
_Promise me you will __stay_  
_Don't run away_  
_Don't run away_  
_Just promise me you will __stay_  
_Promise me you will stay_

Belle mouths "I promise." as she reached the foot of the stage.

_Will you love me? ohh_

_Everybody's __got a dark side_  
_Do you love me?_  
_Can you love mine?_  
_Nobody's a picture __perfect_  
_But we're worth it_  
_You know that we're worth it_  
_Will you love __me?_  
_Even with my dark side?_

Ruby finishes her singing and jumps off the metre high platform, landing on her feet in front of Belle, who takes Ruby's face in her hands, and kisses her. They don't break apart until they hear loud bangs. They turn towards the source of the noise. Miniature fireworks. They laugh, and turn towards their friend Emma Swan, who raises her hands in the universal gesture for 'guilty'.


	2. Want U Back

**A/N~ This chapter is a bit of a crack, if anything, for reasons you'll see in a minute. I've also shortened the song because I didn't have that much to say about it.**

Delusional. That is the only word to describe Rumplestiltskin at this moment in time. Delusional. Or at least, that's what Belle, Ruby, Emma, Snow, Charming, Regina, and virtually every other inhabitant of Storybrooke, Maine, thought when he ascended the stage and announced his song choice. "Cher Lloyd. Want U Back." A few people giggled at this. "Did he inhale some fumes from his shop?" Whispered Emma.

"I would like to dedicate this song to Belle." Belle, who had been in the middle of a rather heated make out session with her girlfriend, suddenly looked as though she might vomit. The music started.

_Uh_  
_Um, yeah, la-la, la, la, la_  
_Uh_

_Hey, girl, you never had __much game_  
_So I needed to upgrade_  
_So I went and walked away-way-way, __uh_  
_Now I see you've been hanging out_  
_With that other girl in __town_

He jerked his thumb at Ruby, who merely raised her eyebrows.

_Looking like a pair of clowns, clowns, clowns, uh_

_Remember all the things that you and I did first?_  
_And now you're doing them with __her_  
_Remember all the things that you and I did first?_  
_You got me, got me __like this, uh_

_And now you're taking her to every restaurant_  
_And __everywhere we went, come on_  
_And now you're taking her to every __restaurant_  
_You got me, got me like this, uh_

Belle had to hide her snickers, as did a few other people.

_Girl, you can say anything __you wanna_  
_I don't give a shh, no one else can have ya_  
_I want u back, I want __u back_  
_Want-want u, want u back, uh_

_I broke it off thinking you'd be __crying_  
_Now I feel like shh looking at you flying_  
_I want u back, I want u __back_  
_Want-want u, want u back, uh_

Belle had gone from barely supressed snickers to nausea.

_Please, this ain't even __jealousy_  
_She ain't got a thing on me_  
_Trying to rock them ugly jeans, __jeans, jeans, uh_  
_You clearly didn't think this through_  
_If what I've been __told is true_  
_You'll be crawling back like boo-hoo-hoo, uh_

Belle now was just looking on in disbelief, her eyebrows raised so high, they could disappear in her hairline at any moment.

_Remember all __the things that you and I did first?_  
_And now you're doing them with __her_  
_Remember all the things that you and I did first?_  
_You got me, got me __like this, uh_

_And now you're taking her to every restaurant_  
_And __everywhere we went, come on_  
_And now you're taking her to every __restaurant_  
_You got me, got me like this, uh_

"Not like there are many other places I could take you. He literally took me everywhere around town, like he was trying to show as many people as he could that I was with him." Belle scoffed

_Girl, you can say anything __you wanna_  
_I don't give a shh, no one else can have ya_  
_I want u back, I want __u back_  
_Want-want u, want u back, uh_

"Gee, Belle, why on earth did you break up with him? He's possessive, he's the Dark One, and he thinks that it's a good idea to sing Cher Lloyd to an ex who has clearly moved on. In public. In front of a crowd of people that hate him." Ruby says, sarcastically, and Belle laughs.

_I broke it off thinking you'd be __crying_  
_Now I feel like shh looking at you flying_  
_I want u back, I want u __back_  
_Want-want u, want u back, uh_  
_Ooh, I want u back, I want u __back_  
_Want-want u, want u back, uh_

He climbs off stage, and the girls are greeted with an unwelcome sight. He is walking towards them. Ruby wraps a possessive arm around Belle's shoulder and glares at him. "Wow, Rubes, why don't you just pee a circle around me?" She gets a mischievous look on her face. "Don't do it." The look fades.

The Dark One has reached their table, now. "So, Belle, did you happen to catch my performance?"

"You know very well I did." How could I possibly not? Belle thought.

"And? Are you ready to ditch the mutt and come back to me?" Ruby growls.

"No, and I never will be. We've been through this. We're over. I've moved on. I'm happy. With Ruby. Happier than I ever was with you."

"But I just humiliated myself for you, and you're my true love, Belle, and true love always wins out in the end."

Belle just sighs. "Look Rumple, we've been through this, too. I might be your true love, but you're not mine. Ruby is. Deal with it." She shrugs, and leans into Ruby.

"Fine." He snaps his fingers, and in Ruby's place is a small, black furred, green eyed husky puppy. "Dealt with."

Belle sighs and yells "Emma!"

"On it!" Emma shouts back. She mutters an incantation, and snaps her fingers. Ruby is back.

Belle turns back to Rumplestiltskin. "Third time this week!"

He huffs and storms off.


	3. For The Love Of A Daughter

Belle gives Ruby a kiss on the cheek and motions to Regina, who had been sitting in a remote booth, who stands up, and walks to the stage, causing everyone to mutter at the unlikely pairing.

Belle took the microphone away from Granny, and gave her a small smile and a nod as if to say 'I'm fine' and while she was waiting for Regina to climb the steps, she spoke. "Hi, everyone, we'll be singing for the love of a daughter by Demi Lovato. Oh, and we're not getting the words wrong, we've just changed some of them."

_Belle **Both** _**Regina**

_Four years old with my back to the door _  
_All I could hear was the ogre war_  
_You're selfish and always expecting more _  
_Am I your child or just a charity award_

**You have a hollowed out heart **  
**But it's heavy in your chest **  
**I try so hard to fight it **  
**But it's hopeless **  
**Hopeless **

**You're hopeless**

_Oh father, please father _  
_I'd love to leave you alone _  
_But I can't let you go _  
**Oh mother, please mother**  
**Put the magic down **  
**For the love of a daughter **  
**Oh**

_It's been five years _  
_Since we've spoken last_  
_And you can't take back _  
_What we never had_  
**Well I can be manipulated **  
**Only so many times **  
**Before even I love you **  
**Starts to sound like a lie**

**You have a hollowed out heart **  
**But it's heavy in your chest **  
**I try so hard to fight it **  
**But it's hopeless **  
**Hopeless **

**You're hopeless**

_Oh father, please father _  
_I'd love to leave you alone _  
_But I can't let you go _  
**Oh mother, please mother **  
**Put the magic down **  
**For the love of a daughter**

_Don't you remember _  
_I'm your baby girl _  
_How could you push me out of your world _  
_Lie to your flesh and your blood _  
_Put your hands on the ones that you swore you loved_  
_Don't you remember _  
_I'm your baby girl _  
_How could you throw me right out of your world _  
_So young when the pain had begun _  
_Now forever afraid of being alone_

_Oh father, please father _  
_I'd love to leave you alone _  
_But I can't let you go _

**Oh father, please father **  
**Oh father, please father**

**_Put the bottle down _**  
**_For the love of a daughter _**  
**_For the love of a daughter_**

When they finish singing, the diner is in complete silence. They silently walk back to their seats, Regina keeping her head down to hide her tears. Belle wordlessly sits beside Ruby, who puts her arms around her, and holds Belle while she cries. Henry looks to Emma, who nods, understanding what he means. He walks up to Regina and hugs her. She is clearly surprised but hugs him back. Those who aren't watching the scene stare accusingly at Moe French, who is sitting at the counter. Sensing, rather than seeing their eyes on him, he grabs his jacket, gets up and leaves, but not before he walks over to Belle, sorrow in his eyes. He reaches out as if to touch her, but Belle whimpers, so Ruby smacks his hand away. He carries on walking and quickly leaves.

From the stage, Granny Lucas says "well, on that depressing note, who's next?"


	4. Screw You vs Sparks Fly

"Who's next?" Asks Granny Lucas.

Meanwhile, Emma Swan, sheriff of Storybrooke, is trying to fend off her two potential suitors.

"Emma, love, you have to choose one of us, so, who'll it be? Me, the dashing, sexy pirate, or him, the-"

"the father of your child who has been hung up on you for the last 11 years?"

"S'cuse me, mate, but didn't you end up with a fiancée in the time you were 'hung up' on her?"

Emma sighed. She had known since she met him, who she would choose between the two, if it ever came to it. "Boys, fine. You want an answer?" They nod and she rushes up to the stage. She doesn't bother with the steps, she just jumps onto the stage, taking the microphone from a waiting Granny. "Screw You by Cheryl. No rap." She says, making sure to speak out of the microphone. "Oh, and I need two songs, is that okay?" Ruby flashes a quick thumbs up and mouths "good luck". Emma looks towards the audience. Neither guy seems to know what she's singing. "Hey, Neil! You've always had a problem with subtext, see if you can take the hint!" She blows him a kiss, and his face lights up. It's almost comical. Then he recognizes the song. "Henry, cover your ears!" Emma says, and Regina does it for him, recognising the music, also.

_We can't love, not like this  
You broke me down, do I even exist?  
After everything, gave you everything, I lost everything  
Love is so lonely now_

_'Cause I don't wanna run no more_  
_Can't believe all the shit I did for you_  
_And I don't wanna hurt no more_  
_Oh my heart, it must've been too big for you_  
_So caught up in the love I felt for you_  
_I burned out like a flame I'd held for you_  
_But it never was enough, I never got your love_  
_I loved you so much but you never gave a fuck_

_So screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_After all the love that I gave to you, boy screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_Yeah, screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_All that I did, I did for you, boy screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_Screw you_

Ruby laughs at the lyrics, but even more at the shocked and scandalized faces of Snow, Belle, and Mother Superior.

_Gave it all I had, gave it all I could_  
_Got me feeling ways I probably never should_  
_Could've been the best performer of the show_  
_But now we'll never know, now we'll never know_

_I can still remember our first date, yeah_  
_Never thought I'd ever scream I hate ya_  
_You can probably hear me clear from far away_  
_You could only stand to love me yesterday_

_'Cause I don't wanna run no more_  
_Can't believe all the shit I did for you_  
_And I don't wanna hurt no more_  
_Oh my heart, it must've been too big for you_  
_So caught up in the love I felt for you_  
_I burned out like a flame I'd held for you_  
_But it never was enough, I never got your love_  
_I loved you so much but you never gave a fuck_

When Emma sees Neil's face, it takes all her willpower not to burst out laughing.

_So screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_After all the love that I gave to you, boy screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_Yeah, screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_All that I did, I did for you, boy screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_Screw you_

_We can't love, not like this_  
_You broke me down, do I even exist?_  
_After everything, gave you everything, I lost everything_  
_Love is so lonely now_

Safe to say, all the women in the room are cheering for Emma. Standing up for herself, solving her relationship problems, and having a go at her ex all in one.

_'Cause I don't wanna run no more_  
_Can't believe all the shit I did for you_  
_And I don't wanna hurt no more_  
_Oh my heart, it must've been too big for you_  
_So caught up in the love I felt for you_  
_I burned out like a flame I'd held for you_  
_But it never was enough, I never got your love_  
_I loved you so much but you never gave a fuck_

_So screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_After all the love that I gave to you, boy screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_Yeah, screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_After all that I did, I did for you, boy screw you_  
_Never loved, no you never loved me_  
_Screw you_

"Oh, and Killian?" She calls out to the smirking pirate. "I am doing this once, and only once, for you, and only you. Basically, what I'm saying is, never again, so enjoy this. Oh, and I don't tend to listen to this sort of music, but it's this or criminal by Britney Spears, and I would like to preserve some dignity, so here's Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift."

_The way you move is like a full on rainstorm_  
_And I'm a house of cards_  
_You're the kind of reckless_  
_That should send me runnin'_  
_But I kinda know that I won't get far_  
_And you stood there in front of me_  
_Just close enough to touch_  
_Close enough to hope you couldn't see_  
_What I was thinking of_

_Drop everything now_  
_Meet me in the pouring rain_  
_Kiss me on the sidewalk_  
_Take away the pain_  
_'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_  
_Get me with those blue eyes, baby, as the lights go down_  
_Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around_  
_'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_

There it is again, that goofy, yet cute and somehow also sly smile that haunts her, awake and asleep.

_My mind forgets to remind me_  
_You're a bad idea_

He puts his good hand over his heart in mock hurt.

_You touch me once and it's really something,_  
_You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be._  
_I'm on my guard for the rest of the world_  
_But with you I know it's no good_  
_And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would..._

_Drop everything now_  
_Meet me in the pouring rain_  
_Kiss me on the sidewalk_  
_Take away the pain_  
_'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_  
_Get me with those blue eyes, baby, as the lights go down_  
_Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around_  
_'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_

It's only because of that damn smile that I'm in this mess. Emma thought. It's true. The first thing I noticed about him was his smile.

_I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild._  
_Just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right._  
_Lead me up the staircase_  
_Won't you whisper soft and slow?_  
_I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show._

_Drop everything now,_  
_Meet me in the pouring rain,_  
_Kiss me on the sidewalk,_  
_Take away the pain_  
_'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile._  
_Get me with those blue eyes, baby, as the lights go down_  
_Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around_  
_'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_

_The sparks fly..._  
_Oh, baby, smile..._  
_The sparks fly..._

The song ends, and Emma jumps off the stage and walks across the room towards Hook. Neil is sitting with Henry, and completely ignoring her. Oh, well, she thinks, before grabbing Hook by his shirt collar and pulling him in for a kiss. A wave of pure love radiates out from them, and they pull away. "What the fuck did that do?" Emma asks, then shrugs. "We'll have to find out tomorrow. Should be fun."

She kisses him again, and after thirty seconds or so Granny Lucas asks who wants to go next, and he pulls away, and shouts, "I'll have a go!"


	5. Troublemaker

Emma sat down in her seat and took a swig of her beer as Hook walked towards the stage. "Now, as far as I'm aware, it's customary to dedicate this to someone, so, Emma, this is for you, love." He smiled, and started singing at the end of the intro. Emma rolled her eyes and smiled a little at his song choice.

_You had me hooked again from the minute you tied me down_

The people who noticed the word change turned to Emma, who just shrugged innocently.

The_ way you bite __your lip_  
_Got my head spinnin' around_  
_After a fight or two_  
_I was putty __in your hands_  
_I don't know if I have the strength to stand_

_Trouble troublemaker yeah_  
_That's your middlename_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_I know __you're no good but you're stuck in my brain_  
_And I wanna know_

"Emma."

"Oh, hi, dad." Emma says, awkwardly.

_Why does __it feel so good but hurt so bad_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_My mind keeps saying "r__un as __fast as you can!"_  
_I say I'm done but then pull me back_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_I swear __you're giving me a heart attack_  
_Troublemaker_

"I want you to know... I... approve" he spits the word out "of your choice. Neal doesn't seem trustworthy enough. I mean, he did leave you to face his punishment. In prison. While you were pregnant with his child."

_It's like you're always __there in the corners of my mind_  
_I see a silhouette every time I close my __eyes_  
_There must be poison in those finger tips of yours_  
_Cos I keep comin' __back again for more_

"Well, yeah. He didn't know about the kid, but... yeah. That's about right."

_Oh oh oh_  
_Trouble troublemaker yeah_  
_That's your __middle name_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_I know you're no good but you're stuck in my __brain_  
_And I wanna know_  
_Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad_  
_Oh oh __oh_  
_My mind keeps saying "r__un as fast as you can!"_  
_I say I'm done but then you __pull me back_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_I swear you're giving me a heart __attack_  
_Troublemaker_

David gives one last glance at the pirate on stage and sighs. "Good luck with him. If he hurts you... I am the King y'know... well, kinda. My point is, I can have him executed."

_Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad_  
_Oh oh __oh_  
_My mind keeps saying_  
_Run as fast as you can_  
_Troublemaker_  
_I say __I'm done but then pull me back_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_I swear you're giving me a heart __attack_  
_Troublemaker_

Emma laughs. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." He just nods and turns away. "Wait, you were kidding, right?" She asks his retreating form. He just laughs.

_Maybe I'm insane_  
_Cos I keep doing the same damn __thing_  
_Think one day we gonna change_  
_But you know just how to work that __back_  
_And make me forget my name_  
_What the hell you do I won't __remember_  
_I'll be gone until November_  
_And you'll show up again next __summer_

_Yeah yeah yeah_  
_Typical middle name is __Prada_  
_Fit you like a glove girl_  
_I'm sick of the drama_  
_You're a __troublemaker_  
_But damn girl it's like I love the trouble_  
_And I can't even __explain why_

Emma shrugs. Definitely kidding, She thinks, taking another swig of her beer.

_Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_My __mind keeps saying "r__un as fast as you can!"_  
_Troublemaker_  
_I say I'm done __but then you pull me back_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_I swear you're giving me a heart __attack_  
_Troublemaker_

He jumps off the stage, throwing the microphone in a perfect arc behind him, over his shoulder and straight into Granny Lucas' waiting hands. Then he walks over to Emma and kisses her again. When Ruby wolf whistles (pun intended) Emma sticks her middle finger up in her vague direction, effectively shutting her up.

"Who's next?"


End file.
